Halloween is a time when everyone is at their most macabre. Unimaginable scenes of horrific violence appears on every TV screen (The George Lopez Halloween Special, shudder), people line up in droves to get the fecal matter scared out of them at overpriced, elaborate haunted houses, and almost every bar lets their health regulations slide just a bit to make room for extra cobwebs. And it’s awesome.
I have always been a fan of October and its overall creepy theme. Even as a kid, I was drawn to the holiday, and not just because of the candy. There’s just something great about October nights. Especially in a city that offers dozens of themed outings.
This past Saturday as I was searching for something creepy for my lady friend and I to do, I came across a play that sounded right up our alley. It was called Splatter Theatre and was exactly what it sounds like. Take a white room, fill it full of all the stereotypes from your favorite slasher movies (Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream) and kill them off one by one in the juiciest way possible. By the end of the night, the once colorless room is speckled and saturated with the blood of a half dozen nitwit victims.
The brilliance of the play came in the first act where we’re introduced to our characters that are as essential to any horror production as the crazed murderer. You have your jock, your slut, your lesbians, your virgin, your new-to-towner, your inept father figure, your foreigner, plus a bum, a deaf, mute nun and a paperboy, just for good measure. And they all die. Horribly, painful, hilarious ways. In fact the older woman in front of me (which I’m still not sure why she was there) almost vomited on two occasions. As the murders get more gruesome, the room gets redder, and the cast becomes stupider.
The cast does a great job of playing these characters as exaggerated interpretations of their real life Hollywood counterparts, most notably the jock and slut combo, who end up fornicating, pretty much the entire performance.
And it’s not just the cast that deserves kudos for a job well done. The “choreography?” of the death scenes, and the artistic spray of the blood on the walls is what gives the play its name and its greatest strength. Never before have a been so moved by the senseless beating of inept police officer as he is bludgeoned upwards of twenty times with a Louisville Slugger.
By far the biggest highlight was a segment called “Meat Puppets,” which is exactly as it sounds. Without spoiling anything, let’s just say it involves an insidious love affair between a chicken, pork chop and a schnitzel. The depravity of the skit reminded me of the best parts of “the Ren and Stimpy Show,” disgusting, juvenile humor at it’s best.
The Splatter Theatre was the first show ever preformed from the Annoyance Theatre, and has been a Halloween staple since the late 80’s. While horror movies may have changed since then, one thing that hasn’t is our blood lust desire to see stupid teenagers getting killed. Everyone loves to root for the bad guy, and in Splatter Theatre, you may have a hard time determining who the bad guy is. Is it the deranged maniac with the hockey mask? Or is it the mindless nitwits that deserve their gruesome fate?
Splatter Theatre is only one of the Halloween themed shows playing around town, and I encourage you to get out of the Cineplex and into the theatre. While not wholly original, it’s at least worth your 15 bucks.
Find out more about Splatter Theatre and The Annoyance at http://www.annoyanceproductions.com/ (4830 N Broadway Chicago, IL 60640, right of the red line Lawrence stop). Sign up for classes, and find more depraved shows nearly every night.
