Does the amount of facial hair seen in a crowd, actually predict how hip a band’s set will be? Let me present you with some facts. On Tuesday November 23^rd at the House of Blues, over 50% of the men in the audience were bearded, preparing to have the excellent Wolf Parade melt their whiskers off. Meanwhile, at the Justin Bieber/Lady Gaga concert with openers Nickleback, not a single face was adorned with a man scarf. Is this coincidence? Is this even true? No. But that does not change the fact that Wolf Parade ruled Tuesday night, and made a lot of bearded gentlemen very happy.

Wolf Parade has always been a band flying just south of the radar for me. My buddy in Portland (a bearded bloke mind you) gave me their albums years ago, and I’ve listened to them casually ever since. They never struck me as mind-blowingly amazing or anything too different from other indie rockish bands like Modest Mouse or Arcade Fire. Then I saw them live at the House of Blues last Tuesday. Now, I’m not 100% sure I didn’t just appreciate them more, because I myself have grown my own beard. My facial follicles tend to absorb more good vibrations, whereas a clean-shaven face tends to just get marauded with whatever crappy music hits their cold cheeks. All I know is every perception I had about Wolf Parade went out the door about five minutes into their set.

But before we get to the meatiness that was Wolf Parade, let’s talk about the equally interesting opening bands. The first, Ogre You Asshole, is an all-Japanese band with decent influences from Fugazi and Talking Heads. They spoke barely a lick of English, but spoke the international language of rock, eloquently. Wintersleep, the second band, was however completely illiterate. The lead singer was channeling a weird combination of Michael Stipe’s vibrato, and Scott Stapp’s suckiness. When a band that doesn’t even speak English, with songs totally incoherent to an American audience, plays before you and wipes the floor with you, it’s time to take a long look in that rock n’ roll mirror. As Michael Kronenberg, a devote and loyal Wolf Parade fan said behind me, “I just got a drink so I could tolerate that awful band.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Wolf Parade owned. For sure. Not only did they play a nice mix of their new songs, from Expo 86, and their older albums, Apologies to the Queen Mary and At Mount Zoomer, they did it with gusto. A great amount of energy, humor, and personality that really brought the band, that previously just lived on my ipod between Ween and Wu-Tang, to vibrant life. Highlights were the insanely catchy song “What Did My Lover Say? (It Always Had To Go This Way)” and the fan favorite, “I’ll Believe in Anything.”

Unlike previous concerts where people talk the whole way through or, shout unnecessary obscenities throughout the show, the spotlight was truly on Wolf Parade. They commanded attention. If music is judged by how many heads can bob up and down together (bearded or not), this show kicked ass.

Wolf Parade has a unique talent that separates them from other bands of a similar nature. Sure, you can call them hipsterish, you can call them a jam band, but what separates them from these genres is the fact that, well they pull it off. Although every song could easily be taken to it’s hipiest extreme with an endless musical tangent, they can take all their complex sounds, build it over the duration of a song, and wrap it up, without it sounding like a chaotic mess.

A final highlight from the show, as if it needed one, was the encore as the Japanese bass player from Ogre you Asshole plays with Wolf Parade during the encore. Call me lame, but there was something beautiful about watching two talented musicians of totally different cultures, coming together to speak the same language of rock.

Wolf Parade has easily made it into my top concert of the year. The simply blew me away. When a band can change your perspective from one live show, they’re doing their job. Music should always be based on their live performances, not their overproduced studio sound, and this is where Wolf Parade excelled. They created an experience totally different from listening to them on your ear buds. Which is something everyone can appreciate, bearded or not.

If you like Wolf Parade I also strongly recommend checking out singer/keyboardist Spencer Krug’s other band Sunset Rubdown, and singer/guitarists band Handsome Furs.

Halloween is a time when everyone is at their most macabre. Unimaginable scenes of horrific violence appears on every TV screen (The George Lopez Halloween Special, shudder), people line up in droves to get the fecal matter scared out of them at overpriced, elaborate haunted houses, and almost every bar lets their health regulations slide just a bit to make room for extra cobwebs. And it’s awesome.

I have always been a fan of October and its overall creepy theme. Even as a kid, I was drawn to the holiday, and not just because of the candy. There’s just something great about October nights. Especially in a city that offers dozens of themed outings.

This past Saturday as I was searching for something creepy for my lady friend and I to do, I came across a play that sounded right up our alley. It was called Splatter Theatre and was exactly what it sounds like. Take a white room, fill it full of all the stereotypes from your favorite slasher movies (Friday the 13^th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream) and kill them off one by one in the juiciest way possible. By the end of the night, the once colorless room is speckled and saturated with the blood of a half dozen nitwit victims.

The brilliance of the play came in the first act where we’re introduced to our characters that are as essential to any horror production as the crazed murderer. You have your jock, your slut, your lesbians, your virgin, your new-to-towner, your inept father figure, your foreigner, plus a bum, a deaf, mute nun and a paperboy, just for good measure. And they all die. Horribly, painful, hilarious ways. In fact the older woman in front of me (which I’m still not sure why she was there) almost vomited on two occasions. As the murders get more gruesome, the room gets redder, and the cast becomes stupider.

The cast does a great job of playing these characters as exaggerated interpretations of their real life Hollywood counterparts, most notably the jock and slut combo, who end up fornicating, pretty much the entire performance.

And it’s not just the cast that deserves kudos for a job well done. The “choreography?” of the death scenes, and the artistic spray of the blood on the walls is what gives the play its name and its greatest strength. Never before have a been so moved by the senseless beating of inept police officer as he is bludgeoned upwards of twenty times with a Louisville Slugger.

By far the biggest highlight was a segment called “Meat Puppets,” which is exactly as it sounds. Without spoiling anything, let’s just say it involves an insidious love affair between a chicken, pork chop and a schnitzel. The depravity of the skit reminded me of the best parts of “the Ren and Stimpy Show,” disgusting, juvenile humor at it’s best.

The Splatter Theatre was the first show ever preformed from the Annoyance Theatre, and has been a Halloween staple since the late 80’s. While horror movies may have changed since then, one thing that hasn’t is our blood lust desire to see stupid teenagers getting killed. Everyone loves to root for the bad guy, and in Splatter Theatre, you may have a hard time determining who the bad guy is. Is it the deranged maniac with the hockey mask? Or is it the mindless nitwits that deserve their gruesome fate?

Splatter Theatre is only one of the Halloween themed shows playing around town, and I encourage you to get out of the Cineplex and into the theatre. While not wholly original, it’s at least worth your 15 bucks.

Find out more about Splatter Theatre and The Annoyance at http://www.annoyanceproductions.com/ (4830 N Broadway Chicago, IL 60640, right of the red line Lawrence stop). Sign up for classes, and find more depraved shows nearly every night.

There are some nights that the weather truly sets the mood. Never was that more true than last Tuesday when I went to experience the minimalistic, avant-garde band Suuns. With thunder streaking through the purple night sky, I entered the fabulous Lincoln Hall, where beer prices leave you with an awkward amount of change, and every male, including me, has facial hair. I had never heard of Suuns, and had no idea why there was an extra “u” in the name, but I was ready for something weird. The small stage was set, and I prepared myself to hear something new and awesome.

And I was not disappointed. Montreal based Suuns, formally known as Zeroes, came on stage and delivered a performance for the crowd, but more importantly for themselves. They legitimately seemed to be having a great time, and who could blame them? With music that involved incredibly fast guitar riffs, intense solos that went beyond the fret board, and music you just can’t help but brood to, Suuns delivered everything I wanted on that stormy Tuesday night. It was the perfect venue and soundtrack to match my mood; dark, intense, questioning, transitional and mind expanding. Under the disco balls and upside down Devo hats of the Lincoln Hall stage, I could just sit in the back, nod my head, and say hell yeah.

Suuns cannot be compared to any one band. Sure their music has dozens of influences, but they can’t be categorized into just one style. Part dance mix, part rave, part rock, part metal, this band doesn’t fit into a genre, but transcends them all. Opener “Arena”, available for download here, (http://www.scjag.com/mp3/sc/arena.mp3) is the perfect introduction to the band. Upbeat and cyclical, it completely surrounds you and invites you in. The kind of music that makes you feel high just by listening to it.

Several songs of the four-manned Suuns had no bass, which didn’t diminish the feel at all, but solidified the fact that this was a band that can’t be classified. Every member of the band was multi-talented, switching from bass, to guitar to keyboards mid-set. They even tricked me several times, leading into a false ending where I began to clap, right before popping right back into a subterranean pop beat.

While most of the show had a brooding, too-cool-for-the-mainstream-scene feel, there was one moment that caught me completely off guard. About halfway through their set, they switched gears by playing a two minute long head banging, speed metal song that felt out of place an unwelcome at the predominately laid back, experimenting college crowd.

At the end of the night, as the weather cleared, the thunder settled and I walked home, it felt like I had truly witnessed something special. So may times I’ve gone to a show to see a mainstream band, or a blockbuster movie that is so bloated trying to please a mass audience, that it loses all creativity and originality it once had. This cannot be said for the completely inventive Suuns, who love throwing in extra vowels when appropriate, shredding to experimental electronica influenced rock, and playing for whoever will come to listen. So get out there, go to great places in Chicago and see bands you’ve never heard before. Take advantage that we all live in Chi-town where new, hip, music is as much a part of our city as our shitty winters.

Learn more about Suuns, and download free tracks at http://secretlycanadian.com/artist.php?name=suuns

*photo by Eric Gasca

Walking into the tiny EP Theatre on South Halsted I was not expecting, nor could I have hoped to see as much as the mad and macabre as I was to see on September 1^st. I was about to witness The Texas Chainsaw Musical. With no AC and dozens of way cooler college kids and hipsters surrounding me, I prepared for what would be, if anything, something to talk about at the water cooler tomorrow.

As someone unfamiliar to musicals and independent theatre, I must say I was pleasantly surprised with my first real experience. Part of the Chicago Fringe Festival, TCM was far from the performances, I’d seen in my small college town, where costumes were ill-fitting, awkward dialogue was in every scene, and an art show headiness flew right over my head. The cast and crew of Texas Chainsaw Musical created a welcomed surprise; full of tension, humor, and the amazing ability to make the audience feels compassion for one of the most notorious serial killers of all time.

The show kicked off with the same tense, John Larroquette narrated monologue as the 1974 original. The tension soon breaks into a rollicking musical number about how hot it is in Texas. Rather appropriate given the small, AC-less EP theatre.

As the story continues we meet an eclectic cast of characters about to meet their demise. Most notably Amanda Hardesty as Sally, Adam Rosowicz as her wheel chair bound brother Franklin, and Guy Schingoethe as the chainsaw wielding Leatherface himself. The cast as a whole does a great job of creating believable tension when needed and delivering perfectly timed comic relief right when the audience needs it.

As the musical progresses, and more and more hot, young teens meet their inevitable fate; Leatherface puts down his chainsaw and shows his compassionate side. He croons the audience in a Phantom of The Operaesque way, making us feel incredibly sorry for the monster that just hung a busty teen on a meat hook.

The play ends in a finale that has to be seen to believe. Imagine the whole creepy Hewitt clan, rocking out in a live band all while torturing and attempting to murder the still screaming “final girl” Sally. With Grandpa on the drums, the Hitchhiker shredding guitar, Dad/The Cook plucking bass, and ol’ Leatherface himself playing ‘lectric keys, it’s unlike any jam band you’ve ever seen. I will never be able to watch the infamous Grandpa hammer scene from the 1974 movie without thinking of a thunderous drum solo. Thanks.

Overall TCM was a great way to kick-start a very early Halloween celebration. With many standout moments, including Franklin’s goopy gushing kill scene, Sally’s never ending screaming, Franklin’s hilarious and heartfelt, “I Wish I wasn’t in a wheelchair number,” and a finale that was truly epic. I won’t spoil it, but the way the Hitchhiker meets his demise, may be the funniest part of the entire production.

Hopefully The Texas Chainsaw Musical finds another venue and audience closer to Halloween. It’s a show that has just the right amount of scares and humor to enjoy during those harvest weeks. But until then I highly recommend finding more shows out there like this. It’s a welcomed surprise to the non-stop crappy remakes and handi-cam horror flicks that flood the Cineplex’s in October. Plus it’s not every day you get sprayed with chainsaw goo.

www.chicagofringe.com

http://www.nmtchicago.org/