Hearing some people say “Yo momma's so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her. And, “Yo momma's so ugly, she made an onion cry. Yo momma's so ugly, even Rice Krispy’s won't talk to her,” make me hungry for such a captivatingly creative mind like theirs (www.comedy-zone.net.) I would also dig to have the greatly enthralling imagination of Robert Alaniz! He has made six feature-length films (“Timesaver,” “Barrymore’s Dream,” “Bitterblue,” “The Vision,” “D.I.N.K.S.” (Double Income No Kids”)and “You Don’t Say!”

Another reason I crave to trade brains with Robert Alaniz is because, the man has won a “Best Comedy Film” award for “D.I.N.K.S.” And he won “Best Feature Film” for his “Barrymore’s Dream,” both from The Route 66 Film Festival in Springfield Illinois. Plus, Robert Alaniz and his organization “Sole productions” have been featured in some nationwide magazines, and on FOX NEWS, ABC Morning News with Linda Yu and Sylvia Perez, and WGN Radio with Andrea Darlas.

BUZZ:  I would love to write a screenplay, but I know I don’t have a good enough imagination to do it.

ROBERT: “Imagination, well that’s important, but I think you also have to be very disciplined. I’ve heard a lot of people say I started writing a script, but didn’t finish it. ”

BUZZ: What were you like in high school?

ROBERT: “I was an artist in high school, winning awards for my artwork, which is what I thought I'd be doing when I got older. Until I found out there wasn't any money in it. I then got involved with theater and acted in many plays in high school and college. I loved it so much, I began writing and directing my own plays. It was when I was in college when I discovered filmmaking. I then switched from theater to film and never looked back. In my 20's, I got an internship at WGN-TV where I worked for a few years where I learned a lot about the TV industry. Hope this is what you wanted.”

BUZZ: Yes, thank you, Robert.

BUZZ: How did “You Don’t Say!” manifest?

ROBERT: “Well, here’s something interesting. When I finished my first film ‘D.I.N.K.S,’

BUZZ: (Accidently interrupted poor Robert!) Oh, yeah, ‘D.I.N.K.S’ won an award!

ROBERT: “Actually, it won two awards.”

BUZZ: (Embarrassed--want to curl up in fetal position and suck thumb!) “Oh, I’m sorry!”

ROBERT: (Gently and Kindly) “That’s alright…that’s alright. You know when you win awards you have to make sure you put them in there (chuckles). I also have to get used to saying I’m an Award-winning filmmaker, too. I know that sounds a little vein, but that’s the truth.”

BUZZ: Yes, you’re just stating the truth, and are supposed to tell people you’ve won awards. I’m sorry; please get back to what you were saying about “D.I.N.K.S.”

ROBERT: “‘D.I.N.K.S’ was my first comedy. I was always afraid of comedy because I didn’t think I was a funny person. And, I was always told comedy is the hardest thing to write. And, it wasn’t hard to write, so then I thought, uh oh! If it’s not hard to write, it’s not funny. But, ‘D.I.N.K.S.’ went over really well—people loved it—it got a lot of laughs. So after ‘D.I.N.K.S,’ I wanted to write another comedy.”

“I had three scripts in mind, and one was about a woman who finds a magical necklace that makes her say what she really feels. I started writing [the] scripts as an experiment because sooner or later one of the three was going to be more interesting to me. So I was writing, and I was watching all these TV broadcasts of people getting attacked by organizations, because they said something they shouldn’t have said. Like, Meg Ryan was on ‘Oprah,’ and she said something that was unacceptable. I don’t know what she said, but as soon as that happened, “Oprah” got hit with a gazillion letters, and this organization came out of nowhere and attacked Meg Ryan.”

“Once I saw that, I said I gotta find more [such stories.] So I started searching the internet, and I found all these crazy things where these groups were attacking people for saying things--for saying something simple, that may have not meant anything. And the more I saw that, the more interested I got in the story ‘You Don’t Say!’ So, that’s the one [script] we did.” The one about a woman who finds a magical necklace that makes her say what she really feels.

BUZZ: While working on “You Don’t Say,” what was the thing that tickled your funny bone the most?

ROBERT: “Getting it done (LAUGHS.) I never thought that was gonna happen!” (Chuckles, chuckles, laughs, laughs!)

BUZZ: What’s the hardest part about being a filmmaker?

ROBERT: “When you’re making an Independent film, like I do, on such a small budget, it’s trying to get everybody to take it serious, and to realize that you’re trying to make a Hollywood-type movie—a movie of that magnitude. I’m this guy from Frankfort [Illinois] who makes movies. And a lot of people make movies now, you know on YouTube…and you want to shoot for Hollywood, you want someone to go ‘Wow, how much did this cost?’ ‘Who is this guy?’ You want that kind of attention—somebody at the right place, and the right time to maybe further your career, or give you more money to give you bigger and better projects. And, that’s kind of where I’m at now.”

“‘You Don’t Say!’ is my sixth film, and I’ve premiered all my films, and they all had good runs. I’ve done local runs, but with ‘D.I.N.K.S,’ I was contacted by a distributing company in L.A. Because they saw the trailer online, and they loved the idea. And I sat down with several distributers, and everybody loved it. But nobody picked it up--they all said the problem is you don’t have someone everybody knows. So the first goal for ‘You Don’t Say,!’ was to get someone everybody knows. And everybody knows ‘The Soup Nazi.’ People wanna see what else ‘The Soup Nazi,’ [Larry Thomas, from ‘Seinfeld’] does.”

BUZZ: So what do you want awesome readers of Buzz Magazine to know about “You Don’t Say?”

ROBERT: “My first reaction to this movie was I had a big smile on my face when the credits were running. And, a lot of it has to do with Alan O’Day’s great song he wrote for the movie. And in the seventies, he wrote ‘Undercover Angel’…he was a big songwriter in the 70s and 80s, and they still use his music today, like in the movie ‘Super 8.’  But getting back to what I was saying, I really thought the movie was fun, because his song is very fun and it’s very uplifting, and the movie—it’s a feel good movie. You see ‘You Don’t Say!’ and you’re gonna laugh and feel good.”

BUZZ: (Smiling while having “Brian Fart,” as to what to ask next. Need brain transplant fast! ) Okay, well I guess that’s about it. Thank you so much for doing this interview, terrifically talented, Robert Alaniz!

THE END

“You Don’t Say” Guest Star, Larry Thomas a.k.a. The Soup Nazi, will be signing autographs with other actors from the film at the premiere on April 6^th.

For tickets for the April 6^th Chicago premiere of “You Don’t Say!” at The Patio Theatre, or additional information on the film, and all who worked on it, please visit: www.idontsaythemovie.com https://www.facebook.,com/pages/You-Dont-Say-A-Robert-Alaniz-Film/292368020819913 www.facebook.com/robert.alaniz.98

“You Don’t Say!” was produced by David Branigan, Robert Alaniz and Max Nayden. Other actors in the film include: Toni Pieper, Rebecca O’Connell, Mikhailia Scoville, Andy Clifton, Caitlin Costello, Alison Barnes, Isabella DeCeault, Jayson Bernard, Brandon Galatz, Hayley Camire, Brian Hoolihan, Jeanette DiGiovine, Shavar D. Clark, Matthew Montalvo, and Melodye Lorrayne. Larry Thomas Guest Stars!

Sources: www.comedy-zone.net as well as people’s mouths.