Twice a week, I drive 30 minutes in rush hour traffic to pet three, delicious doggies for about fifteen minutes. And why not, it’s the only fifteen minutes of pure unadulterated loving I get without fail each week. Before I even get to the door, the barking and howling begins. “YAY, she’s HERE! She’s here to love us!” they seem to say. I’m told that they sometimes howl for me up to twenty minutes before my arrival as if they hear me coming psychically from miles away.

From the first moment they see me, it’s always a fantastic reunion.  The little ones start jumping about four feet in the air and frenetically licking my face. You’d think I hadn’t been there in years, because it’s always the same reaction - “OH MY GOD! Kim is HERE! She’s ALIVE! She’s going to pet and cuddle US!!! YAY! YAY!”

Dogs are not passive aggressive because they never hold back the lovin’ for any reason. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t seen a dog you know in five years, when you see them again, they instantly remember you and rush to greet you - paws and all. They never hang back and say, “Not so fast with the petting there missy, where were you- and what have you been up to?”

Dogs are never stingy with the kisses. There’s no first kiss awkwardness or who kissed who games. How can there be when you are already on your thousandth kiss - in the first ten minutes! And they use a lot of tongue, tongue on your face, tongue up your nose, tongue on your hands, heck, tongue on your toes! They don’t care what you look like, how much you weigh or if you’ve been crying and your eyes are all puffy, or even what you smell like. In fact, to a dog, smelly is better. Forget the fancy perfumes, you can run a marathon and eat a whole clove of garlic; doggies will lick you even more, cats too! Heck, dab a little dead fish behind your ears and watch them go to town with total admiration in their wide adoring eyes at the holy grandeur of your smelliness.

I love that dogs don’t play mind games, they don’t pull power plays, and they could care less how much you have in your bank account or what your motives are in hugging them. Dogs are inherently confident in their loving style. They see you and as soon as they recognize your face, your smell and your voice - they move in for the kisses, period. They don’t wonder if they are rich enough, or potent enough, they just go for it. They are fully in the present. And they are smart to live that way! Life is short! If a dog lives thirteen years and you get to pet that dog 15 minutes twice a week for say, seven of those years, there’s not much time to waste, so get on with the petting they seem to say!

Dogs and cats are always ready for the lovin’! First thing in the morning, morning breath, no problem! (See smelliness rule above) Late at night, middle of the afternoon, there is never a bad time to grab a doggy and cuddle up, they never push you away and say, “I have work to do, I’m tired don’t pet me now.”

People say that cats are not as affectionate, that they don’t come when they are called, but that’s not true. My cat Maui is very cuddly and affectionate and he comes when he is called. All I have to do to signal him is lie down on my bed for a second for him to run out and jump up on my chest, or stomach, where he likes to sleep. Maui is also very open with his feelings. When I leave for the weekend and he sees my weekend bag going out the door, he runs over and gives my ankles a slash with his claws as if to say, “I can’t stop you but I want you to know I am very angry that you are leaving. This little trail of blood on your ankles will serve to remind you of this, my lady.” That’s great, at least I know how he feels!

I’m pretty sure if dogs could make phone calls they would never say “I’ll call you” and then wait two weeks. If dogs could make phone calls, they would call every fifteen minutes, panting, breathing heavily and barking, “YAY, it’s YOU.  You are still alive! I hear your voice! Can you come right over and pet me?!” No? Ok, I’ll try again in fifteen!”

Same with emails - no need to pore over a dogs email messages and analyze every word to see if they still like you. How hard is it to understand, “I LOVE YOU! Yes, YES, You! You! You! Pet me! Pet me! Pet me! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  Moossie

Dogs are not control freaks; the only thing they manipulate you for is the doggy treat in your hand.  They don’t have any baggage, any hurt feelings from the past they need to work out before they show you how much they love you. Whether it’s your age, the doggies that came before them, your fashion sense, your Bachelors degrees, none of it has any bearing on their love; to a dog or cat it’s all LOVE, LOVE, LOVE - NOW, NOW, NOW. Dog is God spelled backwards, perhaps because they embody unconditional love in a very pure form. I know that dogs can be soul mates and lifesavers to humans, I’ve seen it happen many times. I am still hoping for that perfect dog/man to run into my arms and start licking my face.

People say men are like dogs as an insult, I say why can’t they be more like dogs!